To the bereaved child, who is a child to a mother who is not alive. Whose television and radio are currently filled with advertisers telling you to buy all manner of gifts and trinkets, flowers and chocolates for your mom. Questioning whether you love your mom and challenging you to show just how much you love her by spending, spending, spending. Knowing that your Mom is gone and that you can’t do or buy any of those things for her, no matter how much you want to.
You are her child. This is your day. You are seen. Your loss matters.
To the bereaved mother, who is a mother to a child who is not alive. Who grieves each of her child’s milestones, knowing that her child will never get the opportunity to experience those special achievements. Knowing that she will never celebrate this day with her child.
You are a mother. This is your day. You are seen. Your loss matters.
To the men and women whose minds will spend this Mother’s Day somewhere between life and death. Half smiling and warm feeling, as you are showered by the love and appreciation of your family, or, by spoiling the mother of your children. Half pulled toward remembrance, aching heart and longing for the mother or the child you have lost.
This is your day. You are seen. Your loss matters.
To my own Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.
This is your day. You are missed. You matter more with each passing day.
“Whether you have lost your Mom or lost your child, if you’re worried about Mother’s Day, you’re not alone. Try not to get overwhelmed or wrapped up in anxiety. You may actually find that the anticipation of the day is worse than the day itself. You may want to plan a whole day of activities just to stay busy, or you may feel like doing nothing at all. There is no “right” way to handle Mother’s Day – but do try to plan ahead a little. You may want to reach out to others who are struggling with the day and, if you can, it always helps to face the day with people who love and support you.” (WYG, 2017)
Regardless how you choose to spend Mother’s Day, believe you will make it through the day. With time, grief softens. Believe you will find yourself one day in a space where you can both grieve and celebrate Mother’s Day at the same time.